Okay. It’s been six months since I wrote in this blog. I have been writing in my journal and elsewhere, but the words have been for me alone. Now I’m working on something that I hope to share one day.
A lot has happened within these past six months. My younger sister passed away in April. She was 37, had been married for one year, and was battling recurring stage 4 cervical cancer that had spread to her liver.
I was emailing my friend just now- the one from New Mexico, whom I mentioned in my previous post. Her father passed away a couple weeks ago from recurrent cancer, and I was responding to her email she’d sent me the day after his burial service in Kansas.
As I was writing her, I suddenly remembered the blog post I’d published about New Mexico sky and came back to this site to send her the link. I read it to remember what I wrote, and I have to say that since then, I have been reconnecting with friends and connecting with new ones in a way that I know will stay.
Somehow, my life has gradually become less cluttered even though I’m doing more and meeting with more people than before. It’s as if I can see the sky better, having started to tear down the walls and buildings I’d built to protect myself and hide. The sky that I once thought was a void, is a presence quite like no other. The buildings and walls are dead, but the sky is living and constant, and the more I am in it, the more I have to have it.
This is what my sister was waiting for me to be- free and uncluttered, connected and in sight. She’s inspired me- both her life and her death, and being who I was meant to be is the least I can do to honor her.
mijin kang 