An Altered Routine
Suddenly going from teaching 13 units to 4 has needless to say, altered my routine. Lesson prepping, grading assignments and building modules on my Canvas shells have been replaced with updating my resume and applying for part time work. This morning I even exercised, squinting at my laptop trying to…
Friday is a boy hiding …
Friday is a boy hiding under his bed before school because he was told he didn’t clean his room when he’s sure he did. It is crocodile tears, a cradling, a murmuring of mama words of sorry because she said things in haste and didn’t take the time to explain…
Thursday is making breakfast . . .
Thursday is making breakfast just for yourself. It is cutting a thick slice of homemade sourdough bread from the local coffee shop and toasting it until its crust is brittle and crisp. It is smothering the bread with a leftover avocado half then drizzling it with some olive oil. You…
Sitting Still: A Dose of Peace
There’s this wooden swing outside our sliding door. It’s where I meet with God. I step outside and take my place, slowly swing, sip my tea, listen to music and wait. This morning was the first time in weeks sitting on the swing because of how cold and rainy it’s…
Wednesday is a morning of . . .
Wednesday is a morning of words that snap and sting the little ones. It is reading about the perspective of children, their awe and wonder of life that surprises and brings unfettered joy and so I cry, weep at all the times I forget that my way is not the…
Monday is leaving a love note . . .
Monday is leaving a love note for my daughter and attempting to make lasagna for her. It is the memory of my mom’s lasagna baked with heavy cream cheese, decadent and different from our usual meal of rice, soup, and banchan. Monday is seeing my daughter cry– her lashes held…
Sunday is a torrential rainfall . . .
Sunday is a torrential rainfall that doesn’t let up for a second. It is a release of all that was held in– a deep wail from the belly of the sky. The rain drenches the once dry earth and soaks it to its very bones. It is the sound of…
Wednesday is wearing . . .
Wednesday is wearing Jane’s oversized turtleneck the color of dark green moss. It is laundry day and lining up the kids’ cloth masks like a row of cards on the bench outside to dry in the sun. It is setting aside an hour to write with Sumi. We catch…
Tuesday is grocery shopping day.
Tuesday is grocery shopping day. It is wandering the aisles with my green plastic basket, collecting honey crisp apples and yellow peaches that are on sale, a frozen lasagna to heat up for lunch, salmon, and a box of milk cookies. It is riding my bike to go pick up…
Monday is a holiday . . .
Monday is a holiday for the kids. It is a morning of conversations with my daughter on the couch, that changes her face of flint to tears streaming down and an extended embrace. It is a table where we later on draw and paint. I paint a landscape of fog…
Tuesday is listening . . .
Tuesday is listening to our family playlist of 90s hip hop , K-pop, and indie rock while drawing and eating garlic knots with my daughter. It is a dimly lit lamp on my desk– one that my good friend gave as a wedding gift 14 years ago. Embossed ceramic redwood…
The Evidence of Rain
When I step outside for a morning walk, I am surprised to see that the ground is wet. I had heard that it was going to rain but didn’t realize it had already come sometime when we were asleep. Silent and unsuspecting, the rain fell to the ground and covered…
An Unexpected Friendship
A Saturday in July was when an unexpected friend sent me a song. She is a shop owner who procures the most beautiful children’s clothing that hang on clothespins up above like fresh prints delicately hanging to dry. Our first encounter entailed a few bags of clothes that Olive had…
The First Day of the New Year
This morning I almost couldn’t get out of bed. I wanted to spring out to greet the first day of the new year, but a thin layer of sadness kept me pinned under the covers and an image of staying in bed all day flashed through my mind. But no,…
Friday is learning a dance . . .
Friday is learning a dance at 42, rewinding and counting and trying to keep up. Friday is entering the holy of holies into the presence of God who is not put off by our brokenness but ushers us to come closer–so close you can taste His tears and feel his…
Thursday is staring . . .
Thursday is staring into my friend’s fear of another, another miscarriage, an egg never to be filled with dividing cells forming limbs, muscle, tissue, and a heart that beats. It takes me back to when an ultrasound probe searched inside me for life showing nothing but an empty yolk sac.…
Wednesday is remembering awkward…
Wednesday is remembering awkward eye contact over fruity cocktails at sunset. Remembering because it’s become so easy to forget that I have to sift through years of moments to find the ones from way back when. Wednesday is a thread of dreams we extend into our reality like the scarlet…
Two Dresses
7.27.19 Saturday Dear Jane, Whenever I open our closet, I see the blush colored lace dress that I was to wear as your matron of honor for a wedding that never happened– a reminder of all the happy memories that I thought would be a given but now will never…
New Mexico Sky, Part 2
Okay. It’s been six months since I wrote in this blog. I have been writing in my journal and elsewhere, but the words have been for me alone. Now I’m working on something that I hope to share one day. A lot has happened within these past six months. My…
New Mexico Sky
In the Korean historical drama, “Mr. Sunshine”, one of the opening scenes introduces its protagonist- a young slave boy of nine, carrying on his back a large bundle of sticks that towers above his small frame as he makes his way through a forest, back to his master’s house. He…
Doing Life Like a Jazz Musician
Last weekend, we went to a jazz concert in the city. Tim’s friend had rallied together six couples to see a show on the first Saturday of 2019. Wayne Shorter was scheduled to perform but was ill and in his stead, his musical family came to play a tribute to…
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